DO'S & DON'T-S OF SELF-IMPROVEMENT

• Don't think you are always right and you can ignore suggestions and criticism.
• Do realise that it is wise to listen to others.
• Do recognise that people are busy with their own affairs and it is improper to expect them to notice you all the time.
• Don't think you are a genius because you are successful.
• Do recognise how such an attitude can make you careless and bring you down. Don't think you are a faliure because happenings are not in your favour.
• Do recognise that your popularity will quickly evaporate if you neglect to consider others.
• Don't think there is no more to learn when you have finished your formal education and settled in a job.
• Do recognise that if you want to make the most of life you have to keep on learning.
  

SEE GOOD IN EVERYTHING

Always look to the good side of men and matters. Even when you come across people who are rude to you, feel that God has provided you with an opportunity for strengthening your mind through their behaviour. Always see 'What is good' in others in order to develop that particular good quality in yourself. See no evil. But if you happen to notice any, see that evil does not come to you. God created both good and evil in this world for us to learn. From the good we learn to be good and from the evil we learn to be free from evil. Therefore, both good and evil are really good only.

HOW TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT?

Conflict could be disagreement, dissatisfaction, dispute or an uncomfortable feeling that something is not right. If two or more people are together, each with his/her choices, values and views, there will be conflict. The more inflexible one is, the more the number of conflicts. Is conflict good or bad? Actually, conflict is good, provided it is managed and brought to a logical conclusion that works for both parties. Conflict resolves unsatisfactory issues, corrects situations and brings about changes that are welcome. Since conflict is accepted as part and parcel of life, here are a few tips to help understand the TIP concept, so that the end result is a peaceful situation for everyone involved. ‘T’ is for greater “Tolerance”. Everyone operates from a different ‘position’ : education, family background, values, attitudes, personality traits, culture and manners – all influence how a person reacts. This understanding helps us recognise that we tend to project our expectations on the other people. This only adds fuel to the fire. Accept that it is impossible to control other people; we can control only ourselves. Stop expecting the other person to be perfect. We have as many failings as the person we look at. So we must be open minded and tell ourselves that everyone is different and that we have to be tolerant. ‘I’ is for being “Issue-Centric” and not person-centric. That means seeking to understand and looking only at what is happening now. Answer these questions honestly: Do you get emotionally involved in conflicts? Are you consciously aware of your personal dislikes, prejudices, about the person you are having a conflict with? Has it concluded your thinking? Do you rake up past issues? Stay issue-centric, don’t waver, however tempting it might be. ‘P’ is for “Positive Mental Attitude”. We tend to take conflict as a challenge because it threatens our value systems, beliefs, actions and authority. We go to great lengths to establish that we are “right”. Our mind tends to think: “If I am right, then you have to be wrong, and if only you would stop talking and just listen to me”! Two things happen while in conflict. We put ourselves down for not being able to handle the situation or we become very critical of the other person, and tend to become verbally negative in order to protect our self-esteem. The positive mental messages to be used are: My worth does not depend on being perfect. My worth does not depend on being right. What can I learn from this situation? I am valuable, competent and capable. This too will pass and the sun will still rise tomorrow morning. Tomorrow is another day.

ART OF LEADERSHIP

Dig in yourself and you will be surprised to find a leader in you. Every individual is blessed with certain qualities. Proper nourishing of those qualities is the secret of leadership. Leaders are made and not born, but to master others, one must first learn to master himself by developing self-confidence and will-power by which the mind embarks on greater course of action with hope and trust in himself. It is true that all decision are taken by men of self-confidence and will-power and the majority approves them. A majority can never replace the man of will-power just as hundred fools cannot make one wise man. A heroic act is not likely to come from hundred cowards. Even in a democratic set up, if the working of any organization is closely scrutinized, you will find that it is the leader who put sin the ideas or make suggestions fully confident of himself and takes the consent of the majority. The democratic body only sees that the implementation of the ideas put forth by the leader are for the benefit of the community at large and are not stained with selfish motives. Hitler, whose curse the humanity has not forgotten as yet, was a genius and a man who could control millions but there was nobody to restrict, prune and channelize his ideas towards constructive ideas, resulting in peace, progress and prosperity. Due to this act, democratic set up has received world recognition and favour so that the leader could be controlled and his ideas are put to the best advantage of humanity. Gandhiji, one of the most important personalities of our century, was a simple-looking man but his qualities of self-confidence and will-power made him a renowned leader. Non-violence as his creed and self-sacrifice as his motto lived upto those principles till he was assassinated. He has made history by achieving independence without shedding a single drop of blood and has set an example to all the nations of the world. History would have been different but for Gandhiji who was a great leader. This proved that an individual could change the course of history provided he is a selfless “LEADER”. What are the special qualities which make a man a leader, master of millions, a ruler of hearts, the maker of the destinies of his fellow men? The answer is five fold. They are self-confidence, will-power, diligence, sincerity and above all hard work. You are the best and the most honest judge to look into yourself and get the answer for the simple question – How to develop the qualities of leadership in you? It is interesting to note that a vast scope for the development of an undeveloped personality lies right under your hat. Hence I repeat “dig in yourself and you will find a leader in you.”